


The Most Powerful of All

by ahsatan_x



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2012-12-31
Packaged: 2017-11-23 02:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahsatan_x/pseuds/ahsatan_x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek needs help and the first person he thinks to go to is Stiles. Stiles is having a hard time lately and Derek finds him in a vulnerable state and is there to comfort him about his mothers death, and his feeling of being worthless. Stiles also helps Derek to open up himself and sees he wasn't always the way he is now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Day He Couldn't Deal

Derek slowly traced his finger over the mark the approaching Alpha pack had tagged on the front door of the old Hale house. He knew they were coming, he just didn't know when or why, and this just made him feel extremely uneasy. Two of his pack members were already missing, he still wasn't ready to wholeheartedly trust Peter, he hadn't seen Jackson since the death of the kanima and the birth of a wolf, and Scott constantly made it very clear that he had no intention of ever being a part of his pack. All Derek had at that moment was Isaac; but he was still only a fresh wolf and had so much more to learn. It would be impossible for the two of them to defeat a pack of who knows how many alphas. Derek felt so far out of his depths and as much as he hated it, only one face came to mind when he thought about who could help him to find the answer. Stiles.

**xxx**

Derek ran as fast as his human form would allow him to the Stilinski house and slowed to a fast walk as her approached the driveway. He stopped right beneath Stiles' open window and could sense something was not right. He had climbed through this window many times before, seeking the young teenager's help and had never felt such a sullen, broken energy. Knowing something must be wrong, he instantly climbed up the side of the house and in the window without even bothering to be his usual mysterious and menacing self.

As soon as he was in the room he could instantly see where the negative energy was coming from. There was a shaking and crying Stiles in a darkened corner of the room struggling for breath. As much as the boy irritated him to the ends of the earth, there was still a strong part of him that had to protect him – not that he had ever wanted the boy to know this fact. He was quite content pretending he hated the boy, but something stirred in him when he looked down at the small weepy ball that had always seemed to be a constant over-energetic, chattery teenager.

**xxx**

"Stiles?" Derek said, wanting to sound as though he didn't care, but his heart got the better of him – now was not the time to be callous.

"Wh-whaa-whaat do y-you wa-aant?!" Stiles replied through his tears, obviously finding it hard to breath. Derek's brow furrowed at the boy. ' _What is wrong with him? I have never seen Stiles like this.'_ he thought to himself, frowning even more.

"I wanted your help." Derek answered shortly, in a voice quieter than his usual one. He had never been in a situation like this, and he didn't exactly know what to do. He really needed the boy's help, but he could see this wasn't the time to ask for it - why wouldn't his legs just let him leave then?

"Wha-aat good aa-am I?" Stiles sniffled, shaking uncontrollably and trying to catch his breath. Derek bent down and unlocked the teenager's arms from around his own legs and suddenly took his whole body into a bear hug, stopping most of the shaking.

"Just breath. Breath Stiles" the larger man whispered, as he heard the boy's heartbeat slowing slightly into a more constant rate. "Breath".

Stiles looked up at Derek who was still hugging him silently and breathing levelly, perhaps to help him imitate the motion and pace. He had always tried his best to be strong and brave in the eyes of both danger and Derek, but today he knew he could not be the face of that image. It had been almost a week since he had taken a beating from Gerard; trying to protect everyone around him –to no prevail- and then watched the girl he loved fall into the arms of the boy she loved. He felt like a complete failure; he could never be the hero he wanted to be. The way he felt on that day didn't compare to the heartache he was suffering today. It was as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders, and while he was usually excellent at keeping all of it above his head, it felt as though his arms were getting sore and the weight was beginning to crush him.

As Stiles' breathing regulated, Derek uncoiled his arms from around him, but remained bent down and frowning. Derek was very curious about what could drive this boy to breaking point. Stiles was supposed to be loud, obnoxious and constantly talking your ear off with sarcastic comments, not crying, broken on the floor with such pain and turmoil in his eyes. Derek could not stand seeing Stiles' like this. The Alpha pack will have to wait – for as long as he could put off the inevitable.

"S-sorry, pan-anic a-attack. What did y-you need m-me for?" Stiles said trying to smile, but it turned into more of a lip tremor.

"You will be no help to me like this" Derek said with a small growl in his voice, masking the fact that he no longer cared about getting Stiles' help, but wanted to help Stiles instead. Stiles looked a little taken-aback with Derek's response, but he just thought _'It's Derek, what did I really expect, a slumber party where we talk out all our feelings? No. Derek only ever wants someone to help **him** '_

"Well I-I'm sorry f-f-for being human!" Stiles spat, "Y-you wouldn't know w-what that's like. I kn-know that werewo-wolves h-have emot-otions, l-look at Sc-Scott! But you, _y-you_ w-wou-wouldn't dare show them!" he reeled, finding it hard to breath once again. "I'm s-sorry, I am-m just a-a w-weak li-little hu-h-human and yo-you're a b-big, s-strong w-wolf."

"Stop talking" Derek said cooly.

"Th-thi-this is m-my h-house!"

"Stop talking. You can't breath." Stiles obeyed; closing his mouth and giving Derek his most menacing glare, which, to Derek, just looked like a squint. Derek let Stiles catch his breath, almost entirely, before continuing.

"You don't know me." Derek growled, scowling at the boy.

"Exactly! You won't let anyone!" For some reason, unbeknownst to him, Stiles' words really cut Derek. 'You won't let anyone know you'; maybe there was a reason for that. Derek instantly shook off the feeling of his ability to let anyone in and just stood in silence staring at the younger boy.

"Stiles– " Derek began.

"Why are you still here? You wanted my help, then you didn't want my help and now you are just standing there, glaring at me." Stiles interrupted.

"Stiles." Derek began again, not being able to say or ask what he wanted to.

"I really can't deal with this today."

"Deal with what?" Derek asked, trying to hide his curiosity.

"You, werewolves… any of this! What do you want Derek?"

"Nothing." And with that, he was gone as quickly and easily as he came.

**xxx**

Even though Derek had slipped out of the teen's room, he hadn't left the house. Derek sat on the roof of the Stilinksi home with the midday sun beating down on him. Derek sat as still as a statue, so that Stiles would have no idea the man was propped on his roof. He waited for the boy to say or do something to give him a hint about what exactly was going on.

Stiles had begun crying and mumbling inaudibly soon after Derek had jumped out of his window. It wasn't until nearly two hours later that Derek heard Stiles close his bedroom door and come scurrying down the stairs. When the teenager walked out of the front door, the older man noticed that his eyes were blood-shot, his face was red and he had begun shaking uncontrollably once again. Stiles climbed into his prized baby blue Jeep and reversed out of the driveway and set off in the direction of the Beacon Hills forest.

Derek changed into his wolf form, jumping from roof to roof following the Jeep, wondering where the boy would be going in such a state. Once he reached the forest, he jumped down from the last roof and ran next to the Jeep, hiding himself within the trees. Derek turned his head looking into the driver's seat, to see tears streaming down Stiles' face and his knuckles turning white because of how tight he is holding the steering wheel, trying not to tremble. Derek's wolf needed to know the cause of this suffering even more than his human side did – it would not rest until he knew the truth.

Derek understood that he should be agonizing of what an Alpha pack in Beacon Hills would mean, and he knew that Stiles' was capable of looking after himself (he had saved **him** a number of times after all), but there was still a part of him –that he had not realized before today- that was worried about him. _'He puts up with some much, with so little recognition; it must really be getting to the kid'_ surprised at his thought – he cared a lot more than he had known.


	2. The Past All Comes Crashing Down

The Jeep slowed down in front of what Derek recognized to be the town cemetery. All of the family that Derek had lost in fire was buried here, and he hadn't been back here in 5 years. The pain and guilt was too much for him to handle so he just stopped coming; even with Laura begging and pleading him to, telling him it would help him get closure. She didn't know the whole story though.

Derek changed back to his human self as Stiles jumped out of his Jeep, still as gut-wrenchingly sad as when he got into the car, and walked slowly to a gravestone with a fresh cluster of flowers placed on it. Derek waited for Stiles to kneel in front of the gravestone before positioning himself behind a tree, that was close enough to hear him speak, but further enough that he wouldn't know that he was there.

Stiles opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't find the words. After a couple of minutes he simply said, "I'm sorry." _'What was he sorry for? Who is he apologizing too?'_ Derek mused. Almost as if he had spoken out loud, Stiles whispered, "Mommy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You would still be here if it weren't for me."

The young boy rested his head on the gravestone and softly kissed it. Looking down at the flowers he said, "I see Dad's been here already. I know he loves me, but I am sure he still blames me for taking you away from him. I just wish I could go back and make this all better."

After a few seconds he said with a faint smile, "We actually had a nice moment the other night. He said I was a hero. As much as I wanted to believe him and just be happy, I couldn't." The smile slowly faded, "I'm not a hero Mom. I am nowhere near a hero. I run around with a group of wolves, and I am just in the way to them - a total nuisance. I am sick of putting myself on the line and failing. I am literally worthless to them. You know that I just wanted to help Scott out. It wasn't his fault he was bitten – it could have very easily been me, but now he doesn't need my help. His life is all about getting Allison back and plotting schemes alone. I am always there when he needs me – but those times seem to be quickly dwindling. He is my best friend and I just miss him."

Stiles stopped talking for a few moments before saying, "I wish you were here, I feel like you would know how to make me feel better."

Derek couldn't believe what he was hearing. Sometimes, he had to admit, he forgot that Stiles was just a human teenage boy, and wasn't like Scott. Stiles is stronger than he will ever know – he is the mind behind the mission. He is the most powerful of all. "I love you Mom" was the last thing Stiles whispered before getting up to go back to his car, tears still streaming down his face.

As Stiles started the ignition of his car, Derek quickly returned to his wolf state and began to follow the boy back the way they had come. Stiles was driving mindlessly, eyes welling up with tears no matter how hard he tried to fight them; it was the same every year. The tears building in his eyes and the way his hands wouldn't stop shaking were not helping him drive in the slightest. _'Breath'_ he thought, Derek's whisper coming to mind, _'Just breath Stiles'_.

Thinking intently about breathing perfectly, Stiles hadn't noticed the log he was quickly approaching until it was too late.

**xxx**

Derek suddenly jolted his head when a loud "SCREEECH" rang through his ears. He turned to see Stiles' Jeep swerving out of the way of a fallen branch before toppling onto its side. _'Stiles!'_ he thought to himself, still in wolf form. He quickly shook the wolf off, and transitioned back to his human form, running towards the fallen car. _'Where is Stiles? Is he ok?'_ "Stiles!" he yelled, before he heard a soft whimper.

Thankfully, the car had fallen onto the passenger side, rather than the driver's. Stiles was elevated in his buckled seat, head resting against the steering wheel, slowly losing consciousness.

Derek roughly ripped the door off its hinge, not bothering to see whether the door would open if he used the handle, unbuckled the boy's seatbelt and scooped him into his arms. "Derek?" Stiles said with confusion, before losing consciousness entirely. Derek wasn't sure where to take the boy. Should he take him home? To the police station? Or even to the hospital? Stiles looked to be in better condition than his Jeep, but he had a few cuts and bruises so Derek decided it would be safest to take him to the hospital. Derek ran as fast as he could to the Beacon Hills Hospital, Stiles still unconscious in his arms.

**xxx**

"What happened?" Stiles asked sleepily as he woke up in a hospital bed 12 hours later.

"You were in a car accident. You were lucky it wasn't worse. The doctors just wanted to keep you here overnight, to ensure nothing was severely wrong. You were extremely lucky to just get out with just a few scratches and bruises." Ms McCall explained.

"That's why I love my Jeep. She always keeps me safe" Stiles laughed, "Oh no, my baby? Where is she?" his smile falling.

"Oh Stiles, I am afraid she isn't doing to well" Ms McCall replied, trying to suppress a smile, then suddenly looking serious, "Derek said it was about 5 miles away from the cemetery. Stiles, it was yesterday wasn't it, that's why you were at the cemetery?" Stiles just nodded.

"Wait. Derek?" Stiles questioned.

"Yes. Derek Hale was the one that brought you in."

Stiles suddenly remembered Derek being the last thing he saw before he woke up in hospital, but he felt as though the memory was from just before his accident. _'What was Derek doing there?'_ Stiles wondered. Before he could say anything else, his Dad rushed into the room, as Ms McCall left the room and returned to the nurse's station.

"You're awake, son! I was worried."

"Yeh Dad, I'm fine. I'm sorry you worried about me. Don't you have work?" Stiles said slightly sheepishly.

"Stiles, you are my son. You are more important than being at the station. The guys down there are more than capable of being without me for a few hours anyway." Sheriff Stilinski replied, looking down at his son. Stiles didn't say anything more, he just snatched his father into a hug and that hug said everything that had gone unsaid. He loved him too, he was the most important thing to him and he wouldn't be able to handle losing him as well as his mother.


	3. Vist a Aquintance

Once the Sheriff had arrived at the hospital, Stiles was released almost instantly, with the simple order to rest as much as he could for the next couple of days. Resting - that was something Stiles could definitely use a little of.

When they arrived home, the Sheriff made sure that his son was alright and told him he would be back in time for dinner, before leaving to get back to work at the police station. After discovering Matt was behind the recent pattern of murders the police had a smaller caseload, but there was still always something to solve – it was Beacon Hills after all; suprisiningly to the unknowning eye, no day was ever dull. After saying goodbye to his Dad, Stiles grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl in the kitchen and returned to his room, making himself comfortable in his bed and turning the TV on. Spongebob. Infomercials. Bold and the Beautiful _. 'Why is there nothing on?'_ Stiles thought as he hastily flicked through the television channels. Stiles switched the TV off, climbed off his bed and sat down at his desk, opening his laptop, an IM from Scott popping up straight away.

ScottyMc95: R u ok buddy?

MrStilinski: Yeh, just a few scratches and bruises

ScottyMc95: Dude, Im so sorry. Can't believe I forgot about yesterday. I've never forgotten b4

It was true, Scott had never forgotten before, but their friendship had changed over the past year. Since Scott had been bitten, he hasn't had as much time for Stiles. With the bite came a whole new world for Scott. A girlfriend, co-captaincy of lacrosse team, a newfound social status, not to mention the series of problems he always seemed to get caught up in. It had once been the two of them against the world – now not so much. Scott was Stiles' best friend, but he wasn't so sure he was still Scott's.

ScottyMc95: Stiles?

MrStilinski: It's ok.

And with that, Stiles closed his computer. He didn't know what to say, and he didn't want to have this conversation at all. The teenager moved back to his bed, climbed under the covers and closed his eyes, even though it was only 9am and he wasn't at all tired. Maybe if he lay there long enough he would eventually fall to sleep.

**xxx**

After what felt like countless hours lying in his bed, trying to shut his brain off and doze into sleep, Stiles decided to turn over and check the time. _'I was only lying there for 20 minutes? Well sleeping is obviously not on today's agenda.'_ he figured. Stiles needed some air; it had suddenly started to feel extremely stuffy in his room. Stiles pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt he found on the floor, and made his way down the stairs.

He went to pick up his car keys that were usually situated on the dining room table, before he realized _'Oh shit, I don't have a car! Ugh, I guess I am going to have to walk then.'_ Stiles locked the front door, then pulled his phone out of his jeans and dialed his best friend's number, feeling bad about abruptly ending their conversation. No answer _. 'Great. Absolutely freaking wonderful Scott.'_

He still had to go somewhere; he was sure he would could crazy if he stayed locked up in his house any longer. He just started walking, to nowhere in particular, thoughts of his Mom, Dad and Scott running through his head.

He missed his Mom so much; he would do anything to just have her back.

All he wanted was the unconditional love of his father; he could never help but constantly see sadness in his eyes when he looked at Stiles. Stiles blamed himself for his mother's death, and he was certain his Dad too – how could he not?

Scott was his best friend – or at least he was supposed to be. He wasn't sure if Scott hadn't noticed the sudden lack of their friendship or was beginning to grow tired of Stiles because he now had the love of Allison (or at least he did until recently – but there was no denying he would once again) and the companionship of other wolves. Wolves like Isaac and Derek.

Suddenly his thoughts skipped to Derek. _'Derek brought me to the hospital? What was he even doing near the cemetery? Why didn't I see him? What had he wanted earlier?'_ all of these questions were racing in his head, and he needed an answer. He knew exactly where he was going now.

**xxx**

Thankfully, Stiles wasn't too far away from the Hale house and it only took him about 10 minutes before he reached his destination. He was nervous about approaching the large, run-down structure. He didn't really know what he was here to say and Derek always had a way of making him feel anxious. It probably had something to do with all the times he had threatened to end Stiles' life. With his teeth.

Stiles slowly walked up the stairs of the patio, each step creaking beneath his foot. With each creak Stiles cringed a little bit more – being quiet was not his strong suit. The house seemed to be deserted; maybe Derek wasn't here. _'Alright, I will just have one look and if he isn't inside, I am getting out of here. This place has always given me the creeps'_ he thought pushing the heavy wooden door open.

He stepped inside, holding his breath. "Beep, Beep" came a sound from inside Stiles' front pocket. "Shit, my phone!" he whispered to himself, letting the breath out. He look down to see who the text message was from.

 **Scott, 10.15am**  
 **Srry I missed ur call. Allison wanted 2 tlk.**  
  
"Of course she did" Stiles huffed to himself.

"What are you doing here?" a voice growled from the top of the stairs, making Stiles jumped.

"Oh my God! Derek, seriously! Do you just lurk in the darkness everywhere?" the teen exclaimed. _'Well, at least Stiles is more himself today'_ Derek thought, without giving any hint that he thought that this was a positive.

"What are you doing here?" Derek repeated with the same growl.

"Uh… I… Umm… I don't really know." Stiles, "I guess I was just curious why you were in the forest yesterday."

"I was passing by" Derek lied in a solid, stern voice as he walked down the stairs to meet Stiles.

"Ok. Right." the teenager said rolling his eyes, obviously not believing what the man had said. Derek knew that Stiles could probably see through the lie, but there was no way we was going to say, _"Oh yes Stiles, I was worried about you, so I followed you to the cemetery where I continued to hide behind a tree in order to eavesdrop on you talking to your mother's gravestone and just so happened to be around when you lost control of your Jeep."_ No, that was never happening. Never.

Stiles shook off the werewolf's obvious lie (you didn't have to be a werewolf and able to sense the rise of a liars heartbeat, to know that the man was not telling the truth) and simply said, "Well, thank you." Before turning to leave.

Derek couldn't recall a time where Stiles had ever said thank you to him (nor he had said thank you to the teen) or been so non-sarcastic and sincere. Something in Stiles' gratitude pushed Derek to ask the boy the question he had been wondering since he walked in on him crying and shaking uncontrollably.

"Are you alright Stiles?"

"Yeh, I'm fine. I just have a few cuts and bruises. Nothing major." he replied, turning to face Derek, a bit surprised the usually cold man had even cared to ask.

"No. Are you _alright_ Stiles?" letting his strong mask down slightly, and letting a little concerned emotion creep out.

"Yes." the boy replied straight away. Derek raised a skeptical eyebrow at the teen. _'He is never going to tell me what is wrong, and I can't let him know that I followed him and practically know everything already.'_ Derek was surprised when after a few seconds the boy looked to the floor and said "The truth? No. I don't think I am alright at all." The older man frowned at the younger. _'Oh God, why did I just tell Derek freaking Hale that I am not alright? What does he care, Stiles? Look at the way he is looking at you. He thinks you are pathetic!'_ the teen thought, scolding himself.

Derek gave him a look as to say 'go on'. The young man really did want to know why the boy was so deeply affected, but he couldn't risk appearing to care and letting his guard down. He wanted to help this boy – and he didn't for the life of him know why.

"It was the anniversary of my Mom's death yesterday." Stiles continued, he could feel the tears beginning to well. ' _Why can't I be stronger?'_ , he thought to himself as he turned away from Derek once again. "My Mom's dead, and it's my fault."

Derek didn't quite understand how Stiles' was the cause of his mother's death, but he felt himself breathing the words, "I know the feeling."

Stiles turned around to Derek, only to find that he had disappeared.


	4. Truth Hurts

"Cool Derek, just leave me in your creepy, old house alone!" Stiles called out. "Why do you always get to instantly disappear? It's not fair-game when you are talking to me. I don't have special disappearing powers!" He waited a few minutes to see whether the werewolf would appear – which he did not.

"Derek, I'm not leaving. I have all day. My Dad isn't going to be home for hours, Scott's busy with Allison and it being summer means no school." _'Oh great, that is what my life has become. I have nothing better to do than to hang out in Derek Hale's charred house, that Derek may or may not currently be in.'_ "You were going to say something about your past. I realized you have literally told me next to nothing about yourself, ever. Why are you so guarded Derek? I know losing your family can crush you, but were you always like this? Were you always so broken and empty?"

"SHUT! UP!" he heard Derek bellow, from somewhere that wasn't visible.

Maybe Stiles had gone a bit too far - provoking an alpha wolf was not one of is finest ideas.

Derek had planned to stay in the darkness until Stiles had left, but once the boy had opened his mouth there was no way he couldn't react. The things Stiles were saying really hit home. He was so painfully right and he didn't even know. He hadn't always been the emotionless man he presented himself as today. He had actually once been quite similar to Stiles. Something had changed Derek, even before the fire.

**xxx**

"Stiles. Get. Out." Derek growled threatening to let his wolf take over. Stiles suddenly feeling strangely courageous and didn't move an inch. He was determined to get under the man's skin and find out who Derek Hale really was, or at least who he had once been.

"No." Stiles said, trying to be stern, but a small tremble escaped with his words.

"Why are you still here Stiles? Just leave. You're not a hero, so stop trying to be." Derek yelled harshly. Stiles' face instantly fell, so the werewolf knew what he was trying to do was working. He needed the boy to leave, and dwelling on his insecurities was the only way he could think of forcing him to leave. He had unintentionally allowed himself to get too close to the teenager. Even though to the naked eye, it would appear that they weren't friends at all - for Derek he was closer than he ever wanted to be to someone again. "You run around with a pack of wolves, but you are literally worthless to us. You are just a silly little human in the way of everything. You need to go! We don't need your help - not even Scott wants it anymore. Leave!"

Something began to tick in Stiles' head. _'Ignore what he is saying Stiles. Ignore him, but listen to the words. Why are they so familiar?'_ And then it clicked. "You were there!" he accused to the darkness, not sure where the figure his words were directed at actually stood. The werewolf let out a silent gasp, realizing that using Stiles' exact wording had been a terrible decision. How would he explain this?

"Where?" Derek asked, trying to convey that he had no idea what the boy was talking about.

"You were there; at the cemetery – listening to me talk to my mom. That's why you were there to… save me? Unless you weren't saving me, you caused the accident?" Stiles did know the last thing he remembered before the accident was... Derek? And he still didn't understand why. It felt as though he saw the man, but he wasn't really there.

"What were you doing Derek? Why were you in the forest? What did you want earlier that day? Were you trying to save me or hurt me?" Stiles gushed. Derek was breathing shallowly, so quietly that Stiles' was unable to hear his breaths.

"Explain it to me Derek. What the hell is going on with you?" Stiles asked, almost pleading. After a few minutes of silence, Stiles had lost all of his patience and had suddenly yelled, "Answer me!" Derek was so shocked at the teen's outburst that he almost did reply.

' _Shit. Why did I say anything? I should have just let him leave before! Why did I have to ask him if he was alright? And now here I am, just hiding in the shadows – I am a great alpha!'_ the wolf thought, but did not say a word.

After five minutes of pure silence from both Stiles and Derek, Stiles walked towards a dark corner and sat down, about 5 feet away from Derek. Derek worried that the boy could see him, but the boy showed no signs of knowing that the young man was so close. Stiles began sniffling into his palm. Derek had no idea what the boy was doing until he realized him wiping away tears. _'God Stiles, stop crying. You are so weak! Now that you have faced how broken you are, you are unable to put yourself back together,'_ the boy told himself.

"This sucks. This really sucks." He said wiping away another clustered of tears – he was going to be strong now. No more crying. "My best friends a werewolf. My best friend is a werewolf and I am just a weak kid that everyone uses. I try and try to help – and it never seems to be enough. I am a nuisance. I am weak. I am worthless. The guy that is supposed to be my best friend would rather spend all his time pining after a girl whose family wants to kill him, than with me. My Dad is constantly taking extra shifts at the station in order to stay out of the house." Derek couldn't believe how misguided and blind to himself Stiles was. Could he actually believe these things? Stiles cleared his throat slightly, before continuing, "I have been in love with the same girl since I was 8 and I've had to watch her love someone that treats her so horribly all these years and makes her feel like she has change who she is inside. I am constantly pushed around and beaten down trying to protect people that I care for, but these same people don't even see my efforts. This is all sucks so bad, but the thing that tips everything right off the edge, the thing that makes it all too much to handle right now, is the fact that my Mom isn't here." Stiles breathed in heavily, before feeling a hand on his shoulder.  
"No." Derek had stepped out from the shadows and had placed his hand on the boy's shoulder.

**xxx**

"No Stiles." Derek said softly. Shit, what was he about to do? He couldn't stand to see this boy in front of him thinking he was so worthless, when he owed so much to this same boy's intelligence and bravery. Even though Derek had so much pride, it was time he put it away. Derek knew he would hate to do this, show compassion – let the wall around himself down, just that little bit more – but he knew it was unfair for Stiles to keep thinking and feeling this way.

"What?" Stiles asked confused by everything in this situation. Why was Derek holding his shoulder and what did he mean 'no'?

"Don't talk."

"Why? Because you will rip my throat out with your teeth if I do?" Stiles offered, trying to joke, because he already felt awkward enough.

"I just need to say something, and I know if you keep talking I will get irritated and change my mind." the young man said waiting for the teen to resume his banter anyway. Stiles got up from the floor and turned to face Derek, waiting for him to continue. "Stiles, you are not worthless. You are so far from worthless. Scott would be nowhere without you – he doesn't even realize how much he needs your help. He wouldn't let me teach him, but you were able to. The minute you stop caring about and helping him, he will definitely notice. We all need your help, and even though it may look like we don't appreciate you, we do; we all do. Thank you for all you have been through. I didn't realize how much it'd all affected you until yesterday." Derek recited quickly, knowing that if he stopped he wouldn't start again.

Stiles was in so much shock that he was literally speechless for the first time in his life. What was going on? Seriously, what was going on with Derek? Who was this man, because he certainly was not Derek "sourwolf" Hale. He was sincere and caring – which were two words he never thought he would use to describe Derek.


	5. Deep Into The Soul

"Whoa." Stiles finally managed. "Whoa, just whoa."

Derek didn't know what to say after this, Stiles wasn't saying much, and the man had never talked that much at once in years. His outburst was very uncharacteristic. He couldn't believe he showed someone a glimpse of the person he used to be, he just hoped it wouldn't turn around and bite him like it did before. Like it did so terribly before.

"Well, umm… thanks, man" Stiles said, not knowing what else to say.

"Hmm." Derek nodded. Why did this entire thing feel so awkward now? Derek was not much of a talker, but he wasn't one to feel extremely awkward – ever. Being awkward was not a part of who he was; to him awkward meant being vulnerable and he couldn't afford to appear weak in that way.

"Uh, well… I should probably… you know probably get going. My Dad will be home and I wanted to cook dinner… since, I kind of wasn't able to yesterday." Stiles mumbled.

"See you Stiles." Derek said as Stiles smiled before opening the door to leave.

"Thank you Derek. What you said really meant a lot… especially coming from you." the boy said before closing the door and continued down the porch steps.

**xxx**

_'Ugh, I completely forgot I walked here!'_ the teenager thought considering going back inside and asking Derek for a ride – he decided against it. ' _Well my day of relaxation is going well.'_ kicking pebbles down the road he was walking. Stiles was still baffled about what had happened. Whatever came across Derek, he liked it. Derek was… nice? He was truly thankful that Derek had opened up, the teenager had always been curious about the man – he was such a mystery. An intriguing mystery that he had wanted to understand since Scott and him first came into contact with the man the day after his best friend was bitten.

Stiles had walked about 5 minutes before a familiar black Camaro slowed down beside him. He turned his head to see Derek in the drivers seat. _'What the hell? Honestly, was it a full moon? Was that what was making Derek so different all of a sudden?'_ he thought before remembering the last full moon was only the previous week. Derek rolled his window down and Stiles came to a stop before sticking his head inside the car.

"Uh, hey?" Stiles said with confusion in his voice.

"Your phone." was all the man said to explain. Stiles started to pat down his jeans, before Derek lifted the boy's phone up in front of him.

"Thanks." The boy hadn't realized he had put down his phone on a table beside the front door, after receiving Scott's text, when he arrived at the Hale mansion.

"Want a ride?" Derek asked casually.

"Thanks." Stiles said again; still a little wary of this new change in Derek. The two sat in the car in silence as Derek drove towards the Stilinski house. Stiles' head was buzzing with questions he was trying to hold in, but he suddenly could not hold them in any longer.

"Ok seriously, what the hell is going on, Derek?" Stiles turned to ask the driver.

"What?"

"What is up with you?" he repeated.

"Nothing." Derek said, thinking about whether that was in fact a lie.

"Nothing? No, this is not 'nothing'. You changed to a completely different person in less than an hour. Who you were last week, is certainly not who you are right now. You are so calm – I don't even remember the last time you threatened me. This is really weird for me; it feels like the calm before the storm. Has the moon done something to you?" Derek laughed at the last comment. "See, laughing! You are laughing now! I have never seen you genuinely laugh." Derek wiped the smile off his face and returned to his famous scowl.

"Nothing is wrong Stiles, just leave it." Derek said strongly. _'This is not you now, stop acting like this.'_ The man told himself.

Stiles remained quiet for a few minutes before telling the man driving him home "I like it. I really don't know what has come over you or what has changed, but I like this Derek so much more than the one that pushes me into lockers or steering wheels and constantly threatens me."

Derek was finding it hard to suppress a small smile. He knew he would be better liked, but he wasn't looking to be liked – he needed to be feared. For himself and everyone around him to be safe, he needed to be mean and rough and feared. It was the only way. Or at least he thought it was…

"Derek?" Derek could see the courage Stiles was forcing into his voice, not liking what question this tone would bring.

"Yes." Derek replied not looking forward to what ever it was Stiles was about to say.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You're going to even if I say no."

"Umm… why do you never talk about yourself? Me, I'm an open book, but you, I know pretty much nothing about. What I do know I heard from town gossip or the rare times Peter brought up both of your pasts."

"My family was burnt in a fire. What more do you need to know? I just don't want to talk about it." Derek spat defensively. Stiles sat back in his seat kicking himself for saying anything at all.

"You must have had a life before that. Before the fire." Stiles courageously went on.

"Who I was then and who I am now, is not the same person. People change." The were a few moments of silence before Derek said, "What about 'I don't want to talk about this' do you not understand?"

"Anything you wanted to know, I would tell you." Stiles said, wanting to press on; just get a little bit of information.

"How did you kill your Mom?" Derek spat, to send the boy silent.

Stiles looked up at him, obviously hurt by what he had said, but opened his mouth and cleared his throat to say, "You have to explain something about you to me. Something. Anything about your past." Stiles stared at Derek until he offered a slight nod of his head.

"My Mom – and now you, are the only ones that know I blame myself for her death. Scott and I have never actually talked about my Mom dying, he just spends the day with me every year on the anniversary of her death to try and keep my mind on something else – this year was the first time he didn't in 8 years. When it comes to my Dad, I can never manage to get out how I feel about what happened to my Mom, apart from the obvious fact that I miss her. I know talking about her hurts him; he really loved her." Derek noticed that although the boy looked deeply sad, he wasn't crying. He was oddly glad about that fact.

"I was 8 and my ADHD was really bad, so I was being tested with a load of different prescriptions to see which one would help me the most. The medication was really expensive and I think my parents were finding it hard to cope. My Dad – who wasn't the sheriff at the time – had to take a lot more shifts at the station, to manage paying all the bills and my Mom had to take some time off work, to look after me because I had become a pretty big handful – with all the different medicines sending me up and down. After a while, it all took its toll on her and she started getting really tired and sad, and wouldn't even get out of bed some days. I would spend all my time on those days, when I wasn't at school, in her room trying to get her out of bed – but it would just end up making things worse. Some days everything would be completely normal and we would go out and she'd be happy, but most days got pretty dark. Once I had started taking Adderall for a while, my ADHD had calmed down, but Mom was too far-gone. She would refuse to get out of bed, would throw things, yell, refuse to see anyone at all – it was so scary to see her go from my loving mother to the shell she became." Stiles stopped for a few seconds, catching his breath.

"Dad didn't know what to do either; even then I could tell it was breaking him. All I wanted to do was help her, make myself better so that she wouldn't have to worry about me and she could get better. I came home from school one day, a week before my 9th birthday, and she had… she'd taken the rest of my bottle of pills. She had overdosed on half a bottle of Adderall. Dad drank himself to sleep for I don't remember how long, and I refused to take any medication – claiming that was what killed her, but then my ADHD started to get worse again and I realized it was me, not the medication that sent her spiralling down. I don't like people to think of my Mom as weak or selfish, so I don't tell anyone what happened. People know she died; I just never talk about how. I love my Mom, and I always will, who she was when she died was not the person she really was – so I never remember her that way. I can't help but blame myself for all of it; it feels like I killed her."

Derek let Stiles finished, before he even began processing any of his thoughts. He had never known that was how Mrs Stilinski had died. The rumour around Beacon Hills was that she had suffered from a terminal illness that no one had known about, and had died instantly from a brain tumour. She was the sheriff's wife and everyone knew her, but the whole death had been pretty hushed up – he had no idea it was depression, they seemed like such a happy family. It had been years ago, and although he was 16, he only had vague memories of that time.

Derek wanted nothing more than to just reach over and hug Stiles, but his driving made this impossible.

"I am so sorry." He said numbly. "Stiles, it wasn't your fault. Your Mom didn't die because of you." Derek hadn't planned on sharing, he really hadn't, but it was impossible to not offer a glimpse of his past, after all Stiles had just trusted him with. "I know what it is like to kill a family, and you, you have not killed anyone."

Stiles looked up at him a glint of a tear in his eye, with a weak smile, that said he wanted to believe him, but just couldn't.

"I killed my family Stiles. I killed all 10 of the people in that house. **_That_** , was because of me." Derek said in a voice barely louder that a whisper.


	6. Tradition

"What? No? But… Kate?" Stiles said. Confusion was becoming a large part of his past two days.

"Kate set the fire." Derek said frankly.

"Exactly." Stiles agreed.

"Kate set the fire, but you know that no one knew that she set it until last year. I did though – I always knew. I knew and I never told anyone. Instead, I just hid myself and what I knew away from the rest of the world." he said darkly.

"Why?"

"Guilt I guess. I hadn't been careful enough with Kate."

Stiles wanted to continue the conversation, but as he opened his mouth to say something more, Derek drove into the teenager's driveway.

"What do you mean you weren't careful enough? What exactly did you do?" Stiles wondered curiously.

"I loved her." The man replied gravely.

Derek had been in love once? Stiles didn't know why that was such a shock to him, people fall in love – it's what everyone wants; to be loved. He had guessed that something had gone on with the werewolf and Kate – but the image of Derek loving Kate Argent just seemed too foreign.

"It's getting late." Derek said, looking out of the driver's window at the afternoon sun, "You wanted to cook dinner for you Dad, didn't you?"

Stiles started gape, begging to know more but knowing he couldn't stay.  
"Yeh." the boy said a little disappointed he had to get out of the car not knowing all he wanted to. "Every year I make my Mom's favorite meal"

"What was that?"

"Mac and cheese."

"Your mother's favorite food was macaroni and cheese?" Asked a small laugh in his voice.

"Shut up." The boy said smiling, "I was like 7 and it was all I could make. Mom always said it was her favorite, because I had made it – so I just kept the tradition."

Derek felt bad for laughing, but the boy was smiling so he let the pang of guilt leave him. He really saw the boy in a different light now. He understood him more; why he was so jittery, so sarcastic… so loyal. The boy's mother had left him and this caused him to need to feel needed; like he had a purpose and wasn't insignificant… wasn't just worth leaving. Derek didn't understand why Stiles' Mom had left him, but he didn't know Mrs Stilinksi. Sure he had see her around in the years before her death, but he couldn't judge her or know how her life was – Stiles' would hate to know Derek had even thought about blaming her for all the boy's pain. The boy loved his mother regardless, and the he wasn't about to say anything to him to change that feeling.

"You should probably get going" Derek said, realizing the Stiles didn't seem to making an intention to get out of his car.

"Yeh, I guess." Stiles supposed, almost moaning and stepping out of the car. He was half way to his front door before he stopping and turned around to say, "Are you ever going to tell me the rest of that story?"

"Maybe." The man sighed more to himself than to Stiles, before reversing out of the driveway and leaving Stile staring after the car.

**xxx**

_'That 'maybe' better mean a yes.'_ The teenager thought unlocking the front door and stepping into the house. Shaking his head, when he realizes he is probably never going to know the story between where it started and where it ended. Stiles had told Derek everything, but Derek was Derek – he knew how unlikely it was that the man would be knocking on his door to tell him tales of his past anytime soon. The boy mindlessly moved to the kitchen and began collecting all the ingredients he needed to make the dinner he was oh so familiar with at this time of year.

Between pouring the milk into a pot and stirring in the cheese Stiles thought _'Derek should smile more. He has a really nice smi- Wait, what?' catching himself, 'What am I thinking?' Stiles w_ asn't gay… at least he didn't think he was? He couldn't be, right? He always been able to look at someone – male or female - and know if they were attractive, and had always wondered if gay guys thought he was attractive. That wasn't gay... was it? It was just an appreciation of beauty. He couldn't be; he had spent the past 8 years loving Lydia Martin after all. It was settled, Stiles was not gay, he just thought Derek had a nice smile and other people should see it more.

Stiles shook the thought out of his head and kept stirring the cheese mixture, now adding in the pasta. Stiles left the pot to simmer for a few minutes before putting it into a dish ready to serve. The teenager looked up at the clock to see it was only 3.30pm – Well, he was extra ready for dinner. He put the dish in the fridge and laid down on the couch, suddenly tired – he would just rest his eyes for a few minutes.

A key turning in the front door lock woke Stiles up. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes. How long was he out for? It felt like a few minutes, but judging from the lack of sun outside, he guessed it was a bit longer than that. His Dad stepped through the door and tiredly smiled down at him.

"How you going son? Have you been lying there all day?" his father asked as he walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge.

Stiles' didn't feel like explaining his little outing to see Derek, so he just replied, "Yeh, pretty much."

"Thank you" the Sheriff said quietly, still peering into the fridge.

Stiles entered the kitchen and stood behind his Dad. "What for?" he asked.

"Dinner." his Dad replied.

"It has been nearly 10 years. Why would I stop tradition now?"

The Sheriff just nodded.

"Dad. Uhh…" he said, trying to find his words. "I'm… I'm sorry Mom's not here"

The Sheriff looked solemnly at his son. "Shall we eat?" he said, attempting to change the conversation. He knew his son missed his mother, and he took it as hard every year. The sheriff didn't know how to deal with both his son and his own grief, so he just kept quiet when Stiles spoke about her He just hoped that through his silence, his son knew that he missed her too and that he loved him and would always be there for him. The man spent a while angry at his wife for how she had left, and may of taken some of it out on his son – he didn't remember; the drinking had made it impossible for him to remember these things. He tried not to drink when he was sad now - it hurt his son more, than it did himself.

Stiles put enough food for his dad and himself on two plates and reheated them. The two Stilinski's ate their food in almost silence, both reflecting on the woman they had lost respectively.

Swallowing his last bite of macaroni, Stiles looked up at his Dad and said, "I love you Dad."

"You too, Stiles" the Sheriff said reaching over and squeezing his son's hand. He was not a man of many words, but he knew his son understood everything that he couldn't manage to say. At least he thought he did – he didn't realize how much his son actually needed him to speak his feelings, even just once.


	7. Illness Without An Answer

A day had passed and when Derek returned home after his morning run, he found his uncle standing on the bottom of the staircase in the house's entrance.

"Where have you been?" Derek demanded.

"Around." Peter replied silkily. Derek had no idea what that meant so hhe just ignored his uncle's response.

"Any sign of the Alpha pack?" the younger man asked.

"Not since they so rudely vandalized our door to alert us of their impending arrival." Peter said dryly.

"Any sign of Erica or Boyd?"

"They left you, and I just don't think they are coming back, but in other news, your newest pup is-" Peter replied before being cut of by the sound of Derek's phone ringing. It was Isaac.

"Jackson is dying," he muttered to himself as his nephew picked up his phone.

"Yeh Isaac… What? No, I don't know what is wrong… What do you mean he is sick?... I'll have to see him… I know we all saw him transition into a wolf, but maybe his body is still rejecting it… Stay there, I will be there soon." Derek said ending the call and looking back up at Peter.

"Jackson's sick." Derek said, almost as a question

"Exactly. I could have told you that." Peter responded in a matter-of-fact tone.

"How did you know?"

"I have my ways."

"How do you expect me to ever trust you?" Derek demanded.

"I guess I don't, but I know you will have to find a way to, because you need my help." Peter chuckled, making Derek's eyes flash red at the slight truthfulness of that comment.

"Do you know what's wrong with him?" Derek said trying to calm himself.

"Maybe."

"I'm going to ask you again, do you know what's wrong with him?!" Derek yelled this time.

"I have my theories. He was a dick anyway, why not just let him die?" Peter said without an ounce of remorse in his voice.

Derek growled at his uncle, slammed the door and quickly started his car. Jackson was a dick, he wasn't going to deny that, but the teenager was now a part of his pack and he couldn't just let him die without trying to prevent it. He already had 10 lives eternally embedded in his guilty conscience.

**xxx**

The black Camaro sped through the quiet streets of Beacon Hills. When Derek came to a stop outside of Jackson's house, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but he knew to expect something out of sorts once he entered the doors. He turned the doorknob, pushed the door open and cautiously walked through a hallway before he reached a door that was slightly ajar. The usual group of teens, bar Allison, was clustered around a sleeping Jackson. Derek wasn't sure what her position was after her mother's death and she had uncovered her Grandfather's deceit, but he was glad she wasn't there – that girl reminded him too much of her aunt.

Neither Erica or Boyd were anywhere to be seen either, but even though most of Derek had given up them ever returning, a part of him was still concerned about their whereabouts and who they came into contact with after their exit from the pack and escape from Gerard Argent.

 _'Jackson looks fine to me.'_ he thought as he looked down at the sleeping teenager, _'He looks eerily peaceful actually.'_ Derek cleared his throat to let the 4 other people in the room know that he had arrived.

"What's he doing here?" Scott scoffed, looking up to see Derek standing an staring at them in the doorway.

"He's Jackson's alpha, he needed to know. I thought he might know what's wrong and be able to do something to help that we couldn't." Isaac replied, looking a little a torn.

"He's right Scott; Derek can help. He has been a werewolf far longer than anyone in this room - he might have an answer. Anyway, what harm is another brain?" Stiles said turning to Scott, before making quick eye contact with Derek.

Derek walked over to the bed Jackson was lying on. "Let me see him." he requested, pushing Scott to the side slightly. _'Why does he_ _ **look**_ _so normal?'_ Derek thought worriedly, but didn't allow his face to show any of this emotion. "He looks fine. What makes you think there is anything wrong with him?" Derek asked trying to sound a mixture of bored and irritated.

Lydia, who was lying next to Jackson, sat up and quietly said, "We gave him something. I had to tranquilize him." Derek furrowed is brow in confusion. "He was in too much pain, and nothing else would work. Things have been getting progressively worse over the last few days – it is as though his body is rejecting being a werewolf. At first, scars just kept turning up and disappearing, then after a while they stopped disappearing and yesterday the scars just became open wounds. It is as though something is eating him from the inside out. When he started coughing up black… goo... like Allison's grandfather did, I called Scott." The girl had only recently be entirely informed of the supernatural happenings in Beacon Hills, but she seemed to be adapting and catching on quickly.

Derek had never heard of something like this before. He was sure Peter could tell him what was going on, or at least to get to the source quicker, but he had far too much pride to ask for his uncle's help. He was not about to ask him for anything – that would only prove Peter right about not trusting him, but always needing him. Not anymore.

"Why didn't you tell anyone sooner?" Derek growled.

"I don't… I don't know. I thought it might go away." Lydia whispered almost in tears.

"You've probably just let him die now!" Derek hissed.

"Leave her alone!" Scott yelled, eyes flashing yellow.

"She was just scared Derek." Stiles said, urging the man to stop with his eyes. Stiles had seen another side of Derek, and he wasn't going to allow it to disappear.

Something in the way that Stiles looked at him made me stop saying what he was saying. He was just taking it out on Lydia out of fear, because he knew he had no idea what was wrong with Jackson and these teenagers expected him to fix everything. Derek couldn't bring himself to say sorry to the girl, instead he stopped scowling and murmured, "I don't know what is wrong with Jackson." then walked out the door.

**xxx**

He sat in his car for a few minutes before driving out of Jackson's street and settling on a random road. 'Shit, what _is_ wrong with him? I really don't have time to be worry about anything else but the Alpha pack. I need to work this out quickly, so he can get better and there is at least the possibility of having one other wolf behind me.' Derek's thoughts were interrupted by a text message.

**Stiles, 9.05am**   
**Why do you have to be like that?**

**Derek, 9.07am**   
**Like what?**

**Stiles, 9.10am**   
**You pretend to be a dick. I know you're actually not. It's just a mask you wear and don't bother denying that.**

Derek didn't know what to say. People needed him to be a dick; he told himself everyday, it was better and safer for himself and everyone else that way. The truth of the matter was that he had not idea what was wrong with Jackson and that made him feel weak. It was better to come off as cold than weak – he needed to always appear strong.

**Derek, 9.20am**   
**I don't know what is wrong with Jackson.**

**Stiles, 9.22am**   
**Meet me at my house in an hour.**

**Derek, 9.22am**   
**Why?**

**Stiles, 9.25am**   
**Uhh... So we can figure out what's wrong. Don't even tell me you don't want to know.**

Stiles had been right, he did need to figure out what was wrong with Jackson. Derek began his car and drove to Stiles' house, even though he knew he was exceptionally early. He parked his car a little down the road, so when Stile's returned he was less likely to notice he was already there. The werewolf climbed in the boy's window and decided he would just wait for him in his room. How did it become that the person that understood him the most, without him even saying anything, was Stiles Stilinski? The past year had been a strange one, and he didn't think it was going to get any less strange.

**xxx**

Derek sat on a chair on the side of Stiles' room, waiting for the teen to return.

Derek missed his family. He really did. Derek was not supposed to be an Alpha and have betas beneath him, he had never had any interest in it; that leadership role was for his Dad or Laura. Although, Derek didn't regret becoming an Alpha under the circumstances; he couldn't let Peter continue as the only Alpha in Beacon Hills (or living at all, as he had initially thought before Peter's surprise return from the dead).

He would not be having any of this trouble if his parents, or even Laura were alive – they would know how to fix everything, although this problem probably wouldn't have arisen with their guidance.

He had led a good life with his parents, siblings and extended relatives; they were a real pack. How could Derek not feel guilty for taking them away? He even blamed himself for Peter, the fire broke him as well as Derek. His uncle had never been a vengeful, heartless person; he was a funny, charismatic and smart man, but the fire burnt out all of his past personality. In previous years, Peter had felt more like his brother, than his mother's brother - they had always been really close. Once Derek discovered his uncle had in fact killed his sister, Laura, all past feelings of family escaped him and a burst of revenge washed over him; he didn't know this man and he didn't have a problem disposing of him.

He had no one left now. Everything and everyone, he once had was gone. All that remained now was a crazy uncle, a group of un-compliant teenagers that Peter had indirectly forced into his life, a charred home and a lifetime of guilt.

The way his life turned out could be narrowed down to one bad decision he made; letting Kate Argent into his life. His mother, father, sister and brother had all warned him to stay clear of the entire Argent family, but Derek defied them, and they were the one to pay the price for his mistake. He told Kate what he was; all the Argent's had their suspicions about the Hale's but Derek verbally confirmed it all. He was the only one to blame; he should have known better. Ever since the day of the fire Derek vowed to be someone else. He ran away and didn't look back at Beacon Hills until 6 years later.

Derek just missed his family. They would be the ones planning the whole pack's next move against a mysterious Alpha pack and he wouldn't even be in the situation of being an Alpha himself, worrying about Jackson and group of beta wolves that didn't want to listen to him.

The young man would never admit it, but he was lost.

Derek's thoughts were halted when Stiles' bedroom door flung open.

Derek's chair was conveniently behind the door, and the way that Stiles just walked across his room and flung his shirt off before walking to his adjoining bathroom, confirmed Derek's theory that the teen couldn't see him.

Derek felt a strange sinking feeling in his stomach as he watched a shirtless Stiles turn around to close the bathroom door. _'What are those? Butterflies?'_ Derek thought shaking his head at the ridiculousness of the feeling he'd just experienced.

The man heard the water begin to run, and took this as a free pass to climb back out the boy's window before the teen returned and he had to explain why and how long he had been sitting in the room.

He climbed onto the roof and sat there staring into the distance, waiting to hear the shower stop. Derek seemed to stare into the distance, at nothing in particular, quite often. He didn't enjoy being alone (it was just the way things were), but he found something tranquil and strangely beautiful about looking out at the unknown. They do say the grass is always greener on the other side.

**xxx**

Stiles turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. _'Why did I tell Derek to come here?' he thought to himself, 'I should have at least had a clue about what's happening to Jackson before telling Derek to come here so we can solve it together. He is just going to get angry with me for wasting his time'._ A part of the teenager thought he might want to just spend time with the wolf in general. _'No, we aren't even friends. He told you about two sentences about his past and you blabbed on for ages about your life – he just thinks you're annoying. There might be something else beneath his wolfy exterior, but you are not going to be the one to get to the exterior.'_

Stiles grabbed a towel, dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist. Derek heard the bathroom door open and turned his head to see the teen walking out, chest still slightly wet with just a towel wrapped around his waist. "Put some clothes on Stilinski!" he whispered to himself, snapping his head back away from inside the room. _'Blushing? Am I blushing'_ He silently thought. Butterflies, now blushing, what was going on?

Stiles sat down at his computer chair, still only wearing his towel and opened his Mac. _'Ok, I still have 15 minutes, I will just do some quick research before Derek gets here so I at least have something'_ he thought. The 15 minutes went by quickly, and Stiles wasn't having much luck in uncovering anything new. 'Fighting werewolf bite' gave him a bunch of computer games, 'werewolf and kanima' just told him what he already knew about the kanima, and 'lycanthropy' was all the same information from when he had done some research for Scott. Something about the fact that the kanima had a master stuck out to him. Maybe Jackson wasn't entirely free of the kanima's curse and now his body didn't know what to do now that both his previous master's were gone. Stiles didn't know – it was just a huge guess.

**xxx**

Derek had stayed sitting on the Stilinski's roof, just outside of Stiles' room. He had peeked in a couple of times and noticed Stiles still only wrapped in a towel, staring intently at his computer screen with a confused and agitated look on his face.

It had been about an hour since Stiles had texted him and told him to meet him. Usually the werewolf would usually have just snuck into the boys window via the window and simply suddenly appeared to the teenager. With Stiles being such a jumpy kid, Derek decided it wasn't a good idea to shock him, as who knows whether that towel would stay in place – he was not looking for any unnecessary issues or awkwardness.

He instead decided to jump down from the roof and ring the front doorbell for the first time ever. Stiles jumped when he heard the doorbell chime. _'Shit! I'm still naked! Clothes. Where are some clothes? Derek is going to slip through the window any minute. Ugh, who in the world is at the door?'_ the boy thought running around his room frantically, throwing on whatever was on his bedroom floor, flying down the stairs and opening the door.

"Derek?" Stiles said, surprised to see Derek on his doorstep. The man just gave him a single nod of his head to say hello. "Uhh, well this a first; you asking before entering a house. How polite of you." He said smiling slightly and rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. _'Lucky he didn't pop in the window today of all days'_ Stiles thought, thinking about the fact that he just gotten out of the shower after racing straight to Jackson's this morning.

Derek was glad to see that Stiles had pulled some clothes on – even if his shirt was backwards. The man looked past the boy and gestured his head inside. Stiles opened the door wider, and stepped out of the way, letting Derek inside. The two young men silently walked upstairs to Stiles' bedroom. Derek sat on the bed, while Stiles grabbed his computer and moved to sit on the bed beside Derek.

"Any ideas?" Derek questioned.

"Umm… Not really. Uh, I guess have one possible theory?"

"Go on."

"Maybe it has to do with the kanima. I know that Jackson was meant to have transitioned into a wolf, and we all saw it, but what if the kanima curse hasn't left him entirely and it is just fighting to get through?" Stiles said thinking up the theory as we strung the words together.

"Maybe." Derek didn't know what to say, he had never heard of anything like that happening, but then he hadn't even been in contact of another kanima before either. Anything seemed to be possible at this stage.

"I was also thinking that it could have something to do with Gerard."

"Like what?" Derek wondered curiously.

"Well, Gerard threw up that black stuff right? Well, Lydia said that Jackson was too. Perhaps Gerard being the kanima master, still had some control or affect over Jackson. None of us know whether he died – he just disappeared. I am thinking that he is slowly dying, and for some reason the connection Jackson, as the kanima, once had with Gerard is causing the same thing to happen to him." Stiles said a bit more confident about his theory. No one else knew what the cause was, so he could very well be right.

 _'Those are actually really good theories. Stiles is such a smart kid, his intelligence really does go unnoticed and unappreciated – especially by having friends like Scott.'_ Derek thought. Of course Derek didn't say these things to Stiles, so instead he just nodded at the boy showing his slight approval about his thoughts.

"What now?" Derek asked, a little to himself.

"We could just keep research for a while, to see if anything else springs up" Stiles suggested just as his phone beeped.

**Scott, 10.36am**   
**Come 2 arcade. Feel bad 4 forgetin about the other day. Im a crap friend. We will hang out, jst us guys.**

Stiles felt a small smile wash over his face, and Derek saw it out of the corner of his eye. He knew the boy had missed just spending time with Scott, and it was good to see him smile.

"Go." Derek directed.

"What?" Stiles said confused.

"Go." Derek repeated, pointing down at Stiles' phone. "I'm just going to stay and do my own research."

"Here?"

"Well if you haven't noticed, my living situation doesn't exactly scream 'I have a laptop and internet connection'!" Stiles wasn't sure if Derek was sneering or just being snarky. If Derek was going to be honest, he just didn't feel like going back to his house, and Peter being there.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." After a few moments silence, Stiles continued, "Uh, are you sure you think I should go? We have more important things to do, than me playing games. Jackson probably needs us to be dedicated to him." Stiles said hesitantly. Derek just nodded, Stiles needed a break and a peak back into normalcy.  
"Ok, if you're sure. Just don't wolf out and break anything then." Stiles joked. A part of him felt a little weird just leaving Derek in his house, but another part felt like it was a completely normal thing to do; it wasn't as though he hadn't hidden Derek in his room before.

Stiles left his laptop open, gave Derek one last look and walked out the door. He felt kind of bad about just leaving Derek alone to research more about Jackson's condition, but he really did miss Scott.


	8. She Doesn't Know What She Does

Stiles still felt a little strange just leaving Derek, and he thought it was even stranger Derek had told him to go and hang out with his friend. This was honestly a Derek he hadn't seen until very recently, but he knew he could get used to this change. He just wished Derek would let other people see this person – but Stiles figured that was hoping for too much.

The teen climbed into his car with a small smile still stuck to his face. It was going to be good to just hang out with his best friend again, he wished that everything wasn't happening with Jackson at the same time, but he guessed he could just let it leave his mind for a few hours. Turning on the radio, he sang familiar songs to himself all the way to the arcade. The boy was strangely gleeful considering that past few days – he was feeling positive in that moment; maybe they would be able to cure Jackson and the Alpha Pack wouldn't be as threatening as they thought. There was still room for a little hope. Perhaps the past week had been the dark before the dawn. Come to think of it, no one knew what the Alpha pack was coming to Beacon Hills for, or even if it was a bad thing at all; the wolves had just presumed it was. He really wanted to believe in his positivity.

The boy reached the arcade, climbing out of this Jeep with a wide grin glued to his face. He felt silly for being so happy to just see his best friend, but it had felt like forever since the two of them had just hung out – he needed this. Stiles pushed open the front door of the arcade and spotted Scott instantly, leaning against a pinball machine.

"Hey Man." Stiles called, waving as he walked over.

"How you doing buddy?" Scott said, looking up towards the voice.

"Yeh, I'm good" Stiles reply, with a smile still on his face.

"Really?" Scott asked, looking at his friend skeptically, "I am really sorry for blanking on what day it was the other day. I feel terrible! I am the worse friend."

Stiles could tell that Scott felt bad, so he decided not to say anything to dwell on his absence and make him feel any worse. Things were different now; there were more people in Scott's life in the past year and Stiles would have to accept that. It wasn't just Scott and Stiles against the world anymore. _'No more Batman and Robin, the whole DC gang had joined in for the ride.'_ Stiles thought to himself, before being interrupted by another familiar voice coming from behind him.

"Hey guys." Isaac said as he approached them.

 _'What is he doing here?'_ Almost as though Scott could read Stiles' mind (wolf senses couldn't read mind could they?), he quietly said "I invited Isaac to hang out with us. I hope you don't mind." Before slipping past him to greet the other boy.

 _'Oh no, why would I mind? You forgot the anniversary of my Mom's death, you're always busy with Alison, we never just hang out anymore and when we do it's with other people and usually has something to do with wolves. Whatever Scott.'_ Stiles thought, momentarily glaring at the two wolves that had their backs to him. Before the other two turned back around, Stiles put a smile back on his face, ignored the fact that he was pissed off about having to share the time he thought would just be spending time with Scott and greeted Isaac. Stiles knew how stupid and jealous he would sound if he said any of this out loud, but it didn't change the way he felt – he just wouldn't ever be able to tell anyone about how overlooked and unappreciated he felt. To an unknowing ear, it would sound as though Scott was his boyfriend, and he didn't want anyone ever looking at him – that was honestly not the case. He wasn't even gay. Could a guy not just miss how his friendship used to be?

Even though Stiles had wanted to spend the day with Scott, and was slightly angry at him for extending their plans to others, he couldn't manage to be angry with Isaac. Isaac was a nice guy, and he literally had next to no one. All of his family were dead, Derek was his Alpha; but Stiles understood how hard that would be – with Derek's lack of empathy and conversation skills and after turning he used to spend all this time with Boyd and Erica but had decided to stay in Beacon Hills, when they had decided to leave. Why wouldn't he want to hang out with Scott then? As unappreciated and often lonely Stiles felt, he was eternally grateful that he still had his dad and his humanity.

"Wow, I haven't been here in years. My Dad used to bring my brother and I here some weekends when we were younger." Isaac said looking around, with eyes slightly glazed over.

"Oh sorry, we can go somewhere else if you want." Scott said.

"No, no. It's fine. They were just good memories." Isaac replied, looking over to Scott with a wistful smile.

"Want to play air hockey?" Stiles asked Isaac, trying to break up the melancholy tension.

"Sure." Isaac lips curling into a genuine smile. The two walked over to the air hockey table, with Scott trailing close behind.

Stiles put a dollar in the table, picked up a mallet and asked, "So who is ready to get destroyed first?" a smirk flashing across his face.

"Game on!" Isaac replied, stepping forward. _'Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Who care if it isn't just Scott and I, Isaac's cool. Just a few guys hanging out.'_ Stiles thought.  
Scott sat down on a bench facing the middle of the air hockey table to get a view of both sides. Stiles and Isaac began a fast paced game, which had stayed pretty close until the last few minutes on the timer. Scott had been watching the game the entire time, so when Isaac noticed he had started vigorously texting on his phone; he became easily distracted and allowed Stiles to score the easiest of goals.

"Is it about Jackson?" Isaac asked, rushing over as soon as the buzzer went off.

"No, not really. I would have told you if it was. It's Allison; she wanted to know what exactly was happening to Jackson." Scott replied, looking back down and his phone; waiting for another message from Allison.

"Does she have any idea what is wrong?" Isaac asked.

"I don't think so, but she is asking her Dad right now if he has any clue or has seen something like this before."

"So, how are things with you and Allison going, anyway?" Stiles asked curiously, "I haven't really heard much about it sense she went rogue following the rules of her psyc-" Stiles stopped abruptly after noticing the menacing glare his best friend was shooting at him. "Sorry. How are you are and Allison?"

"Well, her mom just died, so I don't think we can blame her entirely for her actions! Things haven't been the same with us since then, and every time I think we may get back together, she says she needs more time to think and find herself again. I will give her all the time in the world, but that girl seriously has no idea what she does to me."

 _'I'm quite sure she does know, Scott. Girls like that always know.'_ Stiles thought to himself a little bitterly. _'Wait, "that girl seriously has no idea what she does to me"? No. It couldn't be. Could it?'_  
  
"She doesn't know what she does." Stiles mumbled to himself.

"Yeh, that's what I said dude." Scott said, looking at his friend inquisitively.

"No, it's not that. I just have to go." Stiles said over his shoulder as he rushed out the arcade doors. Isaac and Scoot just stared at each other, not knowing what had happened.

"It can't be. She doesn't know what she does." Stiles repeated, as he typed Derek's number into his phone.

"Hello?" Derek said from the other side of the receiver.

"I'm on my way. I am pretty sure I know what is killing Jackson" the boy replied, climbing into his Jeep.


	9. Believe It Or Not

The moment that Stiles reached his driveway, he swiftly turned off the ignition and jumped out of the car. He was sure he had it! He’d been over thinking it so much earlier that he didn’t even think about what else had changed in Jackson’s life. He opened the front door and flew up the stairs to his bedroom to find Derek sitting on a chair in front of his computer. Stiles had insisted on telling Derek once he got home, because he was quite pleased with himself for being able to solve the mystery alone (a few minutes holding out wouldn’t hurt Jackson… right?).

“What is it?” Derek barked.  
  
“Calm, calm.” Derek, just scowled at him, “Ok, maybe this isn’t a calm situation, but I am 99% sure I know that happened.”  
  
“Go on.”  
  
“Lydia.” Stiles finally said, slowly, not sure what this revelation would mean for Lydia and her safety.  
  
“Lydia? What do you mean Lydia? What did she do?” Derek inquired, puzzled.  
  
“Move over, I just need to search something to ensure that I am right.” Stiles said quickly.  
  
Derek moved off the computer chair, and onto the boy’s bed, allowing Stiles to sit down at his laptop. ‘Ok, ok, what am I even searching?’ Stiles thought to himself, ‘“Can a human make a supernatural being sick?” I guess it wouldn’t hurt to start with that.’ Stiles begins typing in different searches and clicking on different links, until he suddenly exclaims, “This must be it!”  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“So, this website says that although it’s really rare, some humans have mountain ash in there DNA. It’s not a genetic thing, and it isn’t carried down a family, but certain people just have mountain ash rushing through their blood.”  
  
“What does that mean, and what does it have to do with Lydia?” Derek asked, still just as confused.  
  
“Oh, what would you werewolves do without me?” Stiles said, with a little smirk to himself.  
  
‘I have no idea.’ Derek thought to himself, but remained silent, with a blank face.  
  
Stiles continued, “Because these people have mountain ash in their DNA, it reverses the effects of the supernatural.”  
  
“I still don’t understand what this has to do with Lydia.”  
  
“Am I going to have to spell this out? Ok, who got back together the night Jackson turned?”  
  
“Lydia and Jackson. So what, they are sharing blood now?”  
  
“No! Where else can DNA be found?” Stiles said pointing at his mouth, irritated this was taking so long. He was definitely glad he decided to unleash this theory once he got home.  
  
“Saliva…” Derek answered slowly, more to himself, than to Stiles.  
  
“Exactly. This is what I think happened, Lydia and Jackson got back together and this usually leads to kissing. Jackson ingested Lydia’s DNA, which caused his body to fight all the supernatural attacks and transformations. This would have been alright if they had only kissed once, but that doesn’t seem the case. Every time she kisses him, it helps his body to reverse the effects of being both the kanima and a werewolf, so the natural wounds he would have inflicted are all that remain.” Stiles looked over at Derek he still didn’t seem convinced. “Still don’t believe me? When was the last time Jackson’s body fought against a werewolf attack? Lydia and Jackson were definitely still dating when you scratched him. Also, his eyes flashed blue the night he turned from Gerard’s pet, into a werewolf. I have only ever seen that once before – when Kate shot you and you were dying.”  
  
“It can’t be. Maybe he was shot like I was. It can’t be Lydia. If she can reverse the effects of supernatural attacks and beings, how could Peter control her?”  
  
“That, I have no idea about, but I am sure what ever is happening to Jackson has to do with Lydia. Where is Peter anyway? Maybe he can help.”  
  
He didn’t care where his uncle was; he had refused to ask the man for help ever again. He wasn’t good, and he couldn’t be trusted. Derek was not going to risk being deceived again. “I don’t know” was all Derek replied. Suddenly the man got up from where he was sitting and made his way to the door.  
  
“Where are you going?” Stiles asked.  
  
“To Jackson’s” Derek replied.  
  
“Well I am coming with you” Stiles added, running after him. After everything, there was no way that he was going to be left behind here.

**xxx**

Somehow Stiles made it out of the door first, took one look at the car he had been given to drive instead of his Jeep, and flew to the driver’s seat of the black Camaro he hadn’t seen parked across the road before. “Shotgun driving!” he called, as Derek approached the car.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Ugh, come on. Why not?”  
  
“No.” Derek repeated not changing his stern expression. Stiles gave up and slunk towards the passenger’s door. He went to open the door, when Derek said “Are you not going to lock your front door?”  
  
To be honest, Stiles did always lock his door but he was just too excited about perhaps driving the Camaro that he forgot. Instead of retreating and locking the door, the boy simply replied, “Anything or anyone that dangerous doesn’t even use the front door.” Derek hid a smile at the truthfulness of that statement; he himself couldn’t remember ever using the front door to enter the Stilinksi house.   
  
“Hurry up and drive!” Stiles ordered as he got in the car and Derek was still staring at the front door. Derek slid into the car and just stared at Stiles like he was going to punch him in the face. “Ok, sorry. Drive as you please.” Derek enjoyed the fact that he only had to look at someone, rather than speak to get his way – he often seemed to be angrier than he really was and that was only a bonus when it came to power and control; qualities he felt exceptionally important for an Alpha. Stiles sat in silence while Derek drove to Jackson’s house; which ending up being at a relatively fast pace.

**xxx**

As soon as the older man opened his car door, he could sense that Peter was near. The closer they got to Jackson’s front door, the stronger the feeling got. “Peter’s inside” Derek said, turning slightly to Stiles.  
  
“What? Why? How do you know?”  
  
“I can feel it… but I don’t know why he’s here” Derek replied, more as a question than an answer.  
  
Pushing open then door, Stiles and Derek stepped inside and made their way down the hall once more to Jackson’s room. Derek’s eyes widened when he looked in and saw that his senses had been correct; there, standing with Lydia next to Jackson’s bed, was his uncle.   
  
“Good. I wanted to ask you a question” Stiles said, pushing past Derek and making his way up to face Peter.  
  
“Finally decided against your better judgment that you did want the bite, well sorry kiddo, it was a one-time offer.” Peter smirked. Derek hid is confusion with a glare in Peter’s general direction. ‘Peter nearly bit Stiles? When? And even more, Stiles refused? I always thought he stayed involved with the hope of being turned. He really just is looking out for his friends?’  
  
“No. We need to talk to you.” The boy answered, glancing up at Lydia for a split second, “Outside.”  
  
“Sorry Lydia, secret men’s business” the oldest of the men leered.  
  
“No, not again. I am not going to be left out. I spent too long not knowing what was happening, when everyone else was informed.” Lydia replied firmly.  
  
“And you will know… very soon.” Stiles said with a small smile, he felt bad that Lydia was a part of the occurrences over the past year, but she didn’t understand what any of it meant until recently. “I promise you will. Just don’t touch Jackson while we are gone.” Lydia looked confused at that. “Just don’t. Trust me. No contact.”  
  
“What. Ever.” The girl said sitting in a chair a few feet away from Jackson’s bed.  
  
Shutting the door and walking a few paces down the hall, Stiles suddenly loudly whispered, “What are you doing here?”  
  
“Can’t a guy come a visit an old friend and her boyfriend?”   
  
“Peter” Derek growled.  
  
“You know it’s Lydia. Don’t you?” Stiles said, ignoring Peter’s comment.  
  
“I had my suspicions. I paid them a little visit, as you can see, and when I saw her kiss him I knew I was right.” Peter answered.  
  
“How did you know? What happened?” Derek inquired. He still wasn’t sold on the fact that Lydia was causing all of this. For all they knew Peter could be spinning a web of lies. It didn’t seem likely – but it was still seemingly possible  
  
“I came in, told Lydia I might be able to find a way help and told her to kiss Jackson one last time before I tried anything. When her lips touched his I could feel someone pulsing through his veins, and then I smelt it.”  
  
“Smelt what?” Stiles asked a bit louder than he wanted to.  
  
“Death. The smell of death filled the room and his eyes flew open; but they flashed blue again. He LOOKED completely fine, until he started groaning in pain and his wounds started bleeding out. He lost consciousness while Lydia was bandaging him up and then the both of you turned up. Was it just in the knick of time, or is it too late boys?”  
  
Derek thoroughly didn’t understand the man that he once called his uncle. He never knew what his intentions were. Was he trying to help or falter Jackson?   
“If all of this is true, and Lydia has a unknowing power to reverse the affects of all things supernatural, how exactly did you control her so long to bring you back?” Derek glared, skeptically.


End file.
